Taking one day at a time

So first, I want to thank you for visiting.  Next, I want to let you know what this post - and this blog - is going to be about.  

The two of us - around 1997/98?

Just a few days ago, my world came crashing down when my beloved husband of 22 years, David, passed away suddenly, leaving me bereft and heartbroken.  Social distancing restrictions limit the amount of contact that I can have with other people at a time when I really, really want a big hug.  Holding David tight when we'd had troubling news about his illness (and there were several occasions when the news was like a hammer blow) got me through some bad patches.  This is the worst patch of all and I am trying to make the best of it on my own.

This is my way of coping.  I want to share my happy memories, so thank you again for taking the time to read this.We met at a Star Trek convention.  

It was more of a mini-convention, a one-day event at the Dylan Thomas theatre in Swansea. 

The Dylan Thomas Theatre

I was a Trek fan from when it was first shown on TV and longed to attend a convention - they seemed like so much fun.  A full convention involved a long weekend away, which was out of the question both from the point of view of expense and childcare. A one-day meeting within easy travelling distance was heaven-sent, and my then-husband and I had a great time.  That's when I met David, who walked out of a room as I was going in, noticed the Romulan Empire emblem I was wearing and said "Nice badge!" to which I replied "Thanks, I got it from that stall over there!"

The organisers had a second event planned and my then-husband and I went along - but not many others did.  Somehow or other, I got talking to a group of people including David and a young man who turned out to be a producer with the Swansea Little theatre and also the organiser of a group of fans of TV & movie Sci-Fi.  We meet every Friday in the Builders' Arms, he said - why don't you come along?  Sounds great, we said - we will!

The Builders'

So we did.  David and I were the two Star Trek fans in the group, so we naturally gravitated to each other while the other group members discussed Dr Who, Star Wars, or Blake's Seven.  I looked forward to our conversations - he was interesting and funny and unfailingly kind.  

Over the weeks and months that followed, I discovered what a very kind and sweet man he was.  One example that sticks in my mind - there was a mini Dr. Who convention at the Dylan Thomas, being organised by some of the group members.  They'd lined up some of the stars of the show to attend, including Elisabeth Sladen, Colin Baker and Jon Pertwee so it was going to be quite an event.  As part of the group we were roped in to act as stewards. 

Jon Pertwee & Elisabeth Sladen

If you volunteer to steward at a fan-run sci-fi con, you pay for your place like everyone else but in return for taking a turn at helping to make the day run smoothly you'll get some kind of perk - in our case, we had lunch with Colin Baker (who was absolutely wonderful, by the way!) You don't expect to be on duty all the time, the duties are shared.  Now, I won't say I don't enjoy Dr Who but I could take it or leave it, so I wasn't too bothered about being given the duties outside the auditorium - taking admittance money, checking tickets and so on.  However, the person(s) who were supposed to be relieving me didn't turn up and I was well and truly stuck on the door duty!  My ex was enjoying the event and assumed that I'd found something else to do with my time.  It was David who noticed how distressed I was becoming and who took over from me.

We had a good friendship - the age difference  (I was 15 years older) wasn't important - expect that, when the friendship began to change into something else - I was lulled into thinking that he wouldn't view me as anything other than a friend.  

I'll tell you about that next time.