Getting through the days

Christmas this year is going to be a bit different for everyone.  A lot of people have had their plans disrupted by the pandemic and at short notice.  Many of the events we normally look forward to at this time of year haven't been able to go ahead, like the office Christmas "Do".  Perhaps next year will be nearer normal. Although the office "Do" is never the same two years in a row! I was unsure how I'd manage this year.  So far, I have to say, it's better than I expected, perhaps because so many of the things that David and I would have done together haven't been possible so I haven't had to face them alone. The highlight of David's Christmas was the De Marco's dance studio Fancy Dress party and he took great pleasure in planning his costume!  It was difficult to actually dance in some of the outfits and the year we went in Japanese dress he knocked my hairpiece off my head while performing a spot turn in the cha cha. David trying to be...

I was sad to hear that Dave Prowse, aka Darth Vader or the Green Cross Man, has passed away at the age of 85.  He was a regular guest at British Sci-Fi conventions.  His session was one of the first celebrity guest talks that I attended at the first "official" convention I went to.  He was a very interesting speaker and very approachable, and learning of his death has reminded me of the good times at conventions. Most  people like to go on holiday to somewhere warm and sunny.  David and I were not "most people".  Our idea of a good time was a long weekend at a Star Trek convention - or a sci-fi con, at a pinch.  When you factored in the costs of registration, travel, hotels and, of course, our costumes, it probably worked out the same as a week or two in Spain. In their heyday, the British Star Trek conventions were a weekend-long party.  There were two "official" cons a year, run by independent committees, and the profits went to a charity design...

David and I decided that we didn't want to have children together.  In my case I'd been there, done that, worn the T-shirt spattered with baby-sick and David said he didn't want to share me; he was very happy to be stepfather to my two boys, so our "babies" had to be furry and have four paws. With very little encouragement I could be a crazy cat lady.   So it was fortunate that David loved cats as much as I did.  He would always stop to chat to any cat that would talk to him.   When we first moved in together, we would see a majestic ginger cat patrolling the Bowling green opposite.  He had a military air, so we nicknamed him the Colonel.  There was a smaller ginger cat we called the Major.  Ginger cats were officers  in the Cat Patrol. Black & white cats were NCO's, the more black the higher the rank.  We often stopped to chat with the Lance Corporal, who was very friendly!   Our first cat was a half-Persian who ...

  We took up ballroom dancing as a result of David's need to do things properly. He didn't want our first dance on our wedding day to be just a shuffle around the floor.  He didn't mention this to me, though, until one Saturday after doing our shopping, he suddenly left me at the bus stop saying "I'll be back in a minute".  He soon returned and led me around the corner, into the Mond buildings and up three flights of stairs to a dance school.  He'd arranged for us to have a dancing lesson then and there. Our teacher put the shopping in the fridge and we took our first steps in the Social Foxtrot. We followed up with the Waltz, and then after the wedding joined the beginners' class. We took private lessons as well. And then we stopped going for a while;  I had some problems with my health, and was also working until 8.30 pm every other week which made it difficult to keep up with lessons.  We never missed an episode of Strictly, and often talked about t...

It's been a bit longer than I planned since last I updated this blog. Other things - nothing very exciting or dramatic - got in the way.     In the early days of our relationship I was trying to understand what David could possibly see in me; how could he be attracted to someone 15 years older than himself?  We were sitting in the pub (The Deer’s Leap, as I recall).  Was it, perhaps, that I wasn’t available for a permanent relationship?  He looked straight at me and said, “Keren, I’m telling you…if you were free there’d be a ring on the table right now!”   David was always very clear that he wanted us to be married.  While I wanted to be with him forever, I didn’t need to be married – I’d been there, done that, worn the long white frock.  I was happy to live with him.  David wasn’t having any of that.  As soon as I was free to do so, we were getting married and no messing about.   He had very firm ideas about the way in wh...

  A bad day yesterday. I woke from a dream in which I'd been helping to prepare for some sort of celebration, and had suddenly realised that David was missing.  In a panic, I asked the people around me if they'd seen him?  Oh yes, he was here about an hour ago .  Where did he go?  They weren't sure.  I ran from room to room, looking for him.  I'd just hit on the idea of sending him a text (although I was sure that he hadn't turned his phone on) when I woke up.  It upset me out of all proportion and I teared up whenever I thought of it.   So let's dwell on the happy memories.   People who knew both of us often assumed that we'd met at work, or at least worked at the same place when we met, but that came later and it was all David's fault.  He  loved the idea of us going in to work and coming home together, but I wasn't sure that working in the civil service was something I wanted to do.  I'd had a summer job ...

I'm t aking life one day at a time. There are good times and bad times.  I can keep the grief under control for much of the time.  Once in a while the loss becomes too much.  That's when I choose to have a good day and bring to mind the happy memories.  I hope you don't mind if I share them with you, but I will warn you, there's a certain amount of soppiness in this post. That summer of 1996 was wonderful and terrifying and completely unreal.  I'd expected to remain with the man I'd been married to for over twenty years for the rest of my days.  I'd have told you, in all honesty, that I loved him.  I wouldn't have believed that I could be overwhelmed with feelings so powerful that they could not be ignored.  I'd fallen hard for this sweet, funny, geeky little man and I now realise that, for the first time in my life, I was truly in love.   Being apart was torture.  We met, secretly, as often as we could and I lived for the...